My name’s Twitchyface…

…and I care what you think.

Does anyone else have this problem? It’s the start of class and the instructor is doing her darndest to bring us all into a yoga state of mind.

She’s telling us to be mindful of our breathing. She’s talking us into letting go of thoughts. “Acknowledge them, then let them go,” she says. I do. She tells us to relax our shoulders. I do. She tells us to concentrate on our breath entering and exiting our lungs. I do. Then she tells us to relax our faces and…I can’t.

Literally one millisecond before she said, “relax your face,” I was under the impression that my face was pretty much neutral, but now that she is telling me to do it consciously, suddenly every muscle and nerve from my forehead to my chin is moving in direct opposition to each other. I become convinced (though I’m afraid to open my eyes to check) that everyone in the class is staring aghast at this crazed twitchy-faced woman.

Here I am trying to get my yoga on and suddenly my stupid face thinks we’re Winona Ryder at the 2017 SAG Awards.

Get it together, face.



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